


Cap'n Down

by inkandwords



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, atsu fics, hqrarepairexchange, tanaka is the biggest dweeb to ever dweeb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 00:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6172339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkandwords/pseuds/inkandwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finding a gift has never been so difficult. Especially when Ennoshita finds other distractions in the form of Tanaka Ryuunosuke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cap'n Down

**Author's Note:**

> For [@stillwritinghallelujah](http://stillwritinghallelujah.tumblr.com) as my part of the [@hqrarepairexchange](http://hqrarepairexchange.tumblr.com). Credit to the hilarious convo with [@brokuro](http://brokuro.tumblr.com) (who inspired some of the Snap captions). Hope you like it, Mira! :D

“That’s the twentieth time your phone’s gone off in the last ten minutes, Chikara.”

Ennoshita spares a glance at Nishinoya mid-view, his quiet chuckle both mildly embarrassed and more than a little helpless. “You know what Ry--” He pauses, stops just in time before he gives himself away. “Uh, Tanaka. Yeah, that’s what I meant. You know him. He’s pretty fired up right now. We probably shouldn’t have ditched him like that.”

Nishinoya’s laughter is bigger, louder, just enough to lessen Ennoshita’s partial guilt trip at purposely excluding Tanaka. “You just called him by his first name,” he says with a knowing grin. Slapping Ennoshita’s back in that encouraging way he does during practice, he adds, “Don’t gotta hide it, ya know. Ryuu tells me everything.”

Oh god.

While he’s not surprised, Ennoshita isn’t exactly prepared to have this conversation with the one person who knows Tanaka best. Especially when it’s still new and disconcerting and nerve-wracking and god help him, now he’s even rambling in his own head.

Still, he’d be lying if he said he isn’t the least bit curious about what Nishinoya _does_ know.

“I, uh...”

“Hey, what you guys do in the equipment room when you think no one’s lookin’ is totally your own business.”

Leave it to Nishinoya to get right down to business.

“That store might have something,” Ennoshita says by way of stealthily changing the subject, pointing to the large assortment of scrolls and posters hanging from one of the shop windows. Nishinoya makes a beeline for it as Ennoshita busies himself with yet another incoming image through his Snapchat. 

He’s partly amused, even as he shuts his eyes and groans into his palm at Tanaka’s antics. It reminds Ennoshita of a child in a candy store, hyped up and uncontrollable, but oddly endearing all the same. Still, on the upside, at least now he doesn’t have to take Tanaka’s picture without him knowing his picture was being taken. 

Loud idiot. He’d probably make a big deal out of it like he makes a big deal out of everything. Of all the things to get himself into, Tanaka Ryuunosuke was the last thing he expects. 

Not that he’s into him like _in_ him. 

Unless he counts that “almost” one time in the equipment room that they both swore was a one time thing. One time. Definitely one time.

Except... maybe Ennoshita doesn’t want it to be. 

Sighing, he flips through the first couple of pictures Tanaka has already sent, one of which includes the beat up old Buzz Lightyear figurine with text that reads:

**[can’t say astronaut without sayin ‘ass’]**

“I’m suddenly questioning my life choices,” he mumbles as he flips through more pictures, new ones adding on to the pile before he’s had the chance to go through them all. Even goofy and making a complete idiot out of himself, Tanaka is weirdly attractive. The realization makes Ennoshita clench his eyes shut for a second as he shakes his head back and forth. 

And anyway, it’s his own fault that Tanaka is currently trying to win the Guinness World Record for most Snaps sent in under an hour. He did ask Nishinoya to help him pick out a gift for the team’s end of year exchange after all, but it seems Tanaka is hellbent on making sure they both remember that he hadn’t been invited along. 

“Is he still sendin’ ya asshole-lookin’ pictures of his face?” Nishinoya asks when Ennoshita manages to step inside the store. 

“Better asshole pictures than dick pictures,” Ennoshita says absently, leafing through the selection of bamboo scrolls. 

Nishinoya gags, his face pinched into something between mortification and nausea. “Hey! Can we not talk about my best friend Snapchattin’ his junk?”

“Huh?”

“Never mind.”

“Never mind, what?”

“Dick pictures?”

Ennoshita’s cheeks heat up faster than his hand can move to cover it up. He nearly drops his phone before blinking, confused, and honestly wonders why in the world Nishinoya is talking about dick pictures. He really should stop spacing out. Just in case. Just to be safe. “Who’s getting dick pictures?”

“Uh, you... are? Hypothetically. Unless he’s really sendin’ ‘em to ya; in which case, please spare me the details of things I can’t ever unhear.”

“In his dreams. All that bravado’s just for show. No one’s sending anyone dick pictures.” 

Ennoshita’s phone chimes again, interrupting the laughter between them, and another series of photos come in, the text running across them less rowdy and accusatory, and more mischievous with a hint of low-key... _flirting?_  

Oh god. 

He palms his face, fingers branching out to rub his temples. If experience is a good way to gauge what’s about to happen, he has a pretty good idea about where Tanaka is leading with the subtle expressions he wears in the pictures that follow. 

“He’s ridiculous,” he says when he opens the two most recent pictures. “I’m pretty sure he’s messing around because he’s bored. He always messes around when he’s bored.” 

Nishinoya tries to glimpse what sort of moronic images Tanaka has sent now, but Ennoshita waves him away. 

“Is he gaying for you?”

“I don’t think that’s actually a term, Nishinoya,” Ennoshita says with a small chuckle.

“He totally is, isn’t he?!”

With a resigned sigh, he turns the phone so Nishinoya can see for himself. 

In the first image, Tanaka dons sunglasses Ennoshita is almost positive are his. He pins the camera with a sly grin that, on more than one occasion, had them suspiciously occupying the equipment room for a spontaneous ‘captain/vice captain meeting’. 

**[excuse me sir, you’ve stolen sth]**

When the next image comes up, Ennoshita had expected a dirty joke. But instead he gets one of Tanaka clutching his chest and closing his eyes with a line so cheesy, it makes Ennoshita want to both hide his face away in the comfort of his own palm and grin so much the first years will probably wonder what’s happened to his face.

**[ ♥ ♥ my heart  ♥ ♥]**

Nishinoya snorts. “Tell him he needs to go back to Pickup Lines 101. Refresher course.”

Taking a picture of his own face, Ennoshita deadpans and sends the image with the caption that reads:

**[why do i even talk to you]**

He spots a few guys standing over by another display of scrolls and angles his phone to nab the shot. Biting back a grin, he sends that, too.

**[look at all my other options]**

It takes a few minutes for his phone to chime again, but when it does, the image is definitely something Ennoshita doesn’t expect and his brain malfunctions instantaneously. But not before his eyes rake over the lean, flexed ridges of Tanaka’s unbelievably toned, flauntingly exposed abdomen. 

**[are ya ab-solutely sure about that?? >;D]**

The next thing he knows, he’s splayed out on the floor, nose throbbing and so disoriented that he hasn’t realized he’s dropped his phone until he sees a flash of light from where Nishinoya stands. 

“You all right, Chikara?” he asks, crouching down and waving three fingers in front of Ennoshita’s face. “How many?”

“Uh,” Ennoshita groans, squinting at Nishinoya’s hand like it’s about to sprout something foreign and he should be amply prepared. “Three? I think.”

“Ryuu and his dumbass ideas.” Nishinoya types something into Ennoshita’s phone before sending it off. When he hands the device back, Ennoshita stares at it for a second until he realizes what Nishinoya has done.

“Tell me you didn’t send that.”

“I didn’t send that...?” Nishinoya says, all innocence.

“Nishinoya...”

“Hey, he’ll probably cry big crocodile tears ‘cause of it. You know how he gets weirdly emotional about shit. You eatin’ the floor and takin’ the display down with you is definitely somethin’ to get emotional about. Especially if it’s ‘cause you’re oglin’ the goods.” 

Ennoshita stares at his phone, heat flushing his cheeks and all he thinks now is how nice it would be to find a hole to disappear in. Maybe forever. 

The text, though, makes him laugh, despite his predicament and abject humiliation:

**[cap’n down. need tampons stat.]**

“He’s never going to let this go, is he?” Ennoshita chances, slightly hopeful.

Nishinoya grins, wide and accomplished and not the least bit remorseful. 

“Not a shot in hell.“


End file.
